Episode Three - The Maggots in the Meathead

Yo! Sup? This week’s episode of Bones was so random ya’ll. In the vernacular, that is of course. In “The Maggots in the Meathead”, the discovery of some bones on the beach leads Booth and Brennan into the heart of an anthropological dream – the Guido tribe. After viewing a “documentary” on television, Brennan has become something of an expert in Guido culture – their customs, ornate costumes, music, speech patterns and dance rituals. Tattoos, fake tan, fist fights, fist pumping and muscles all make for a magical Bones episode where pseudo-reality TV meets murder mystery.

So back to the bones on the beach. The body is decomposing at a rate of knots and contains a whole lot of maggots, so hopped up on energy drinks and male cosmetics, they are literally jumping in the air trying to bite their own butts. Who hasn’t seen the human equivalent of this!?

As the body rapidly decomposes (live fast, decompose fast it seems) our dynamic duo heads to the Jersey Shore to find the killer of “Richie the V”, a fine fellow who met his fate at the end of something concrete (not cement) and covered in yellow plastic.

Much yo-ing, sup-ing and muscle flexing later (look out for Brennan throwing the crab and Booth preparing to throw a bouncer after he gives Brennan a shove – he can be very manly), it turns out our victim was killed over ice, ice baby. Not the rapper and not the illegal stuff. Ice. Water. Frozen. It seems people can go a little ballistic over ice. The Ice Man (no, not Val Kilmer) smacked Richie the V over the head with his ice-smashing tool, in a case of mistaken identity.

The moral of the story – one really never should go out dressed like twinsees, especially if your fashion twin is a bit of a dipstick.

While all this is happening, Hannah is preparing to move in with Booth, but not before Brennan throws a metaphoric crab her way in the form of a well meaning warning not to mess with Booth’s heart. Nice. Brennan also helps Hannah choose a house warming gift for Booth – a retro rotary phone. What a trooper.

There was the potential for this episode to be ridiculous but it was pulled off beautifully with some understated humour, some overstated humour, an endearing support cast and a couple of moments that tugged gently on the heart strings.

So on to my “Five Stars and a Wish”:

Star One

Eureka! A gathering of Guidos! Basically anytime Brennan went all Guido on us in this episode was some pretty fine television. Her “Yo. Sup?”, teamed with the handshake hug, was suitably understated and therefore amusing. Her David Attenborough-esque narration for Booth, of things such as the mating rituals of the tribe, was informative and entertaining. Are we not all just a little bit wiser for knowing that GTL stands for Gym Tan Laundry?!

Star Two

The cat’s out of the bag! The scene where Cam discovers Angela is pregnant was really nice. I always delight in characters being human and for some reason, having to eat always normalises people. For this reason I loved the fact that Angela was lying down eating crackers. What’s more, she was making a mess. Imperfection is endearing. Cam’s reaction to her pregnancy was joyous (I’m really liking Cam so far this series) and it was very sweet when Angela said, “I could be having a little Hodgins. How cute would that be?”

Star Three

Don’t mess with the crab, you might get the claws. The dynamic between Bones and Hannah continues to develop. While friendly, you can still sense the caution with which Bones interacts with the new kid on the block. When Hannah arrived at the Jeffersonian you could tell Bones was confused and I loved her tentative hello. This then provided a perfect contrast to how animated she became when talking about Booth and the fact Hannah should get him a vintage Rotary phone as a housewarming gift. One wonders what Hannah is beginning to surmise from such an exchange? This scene was also golden as we got to see just how much Brennan cares for Booth when she warns Hannah to be careful with his heart.

Star Four

The simple things in life are often the best. Bones is always full of magic moments that you may miss if you blink at the wrong time. From a glance to the way Brennan often puts the back of her hand on Booths arm when she’s explaining things to him, they make a moment memorable. One such moment in this episode is when Booth and Bones enter the Diner together and both reach for the menu at the same time. The familiarity of such a thing is almost intimate. And while we’re on simple things, I couldn’t not mention the cheeky little way the writers managed to get the “F” word in an episode – 4Q. I think it’s self explanatory.

Star Five

I shall take my leave. Bones has long had a lovely tradition of finishing every episode with a scene featuring Booth and Bones together. The tradition has continued this season, with a slightly sadder lilt. The closing scene of this episode was a tear jerker (if you are inclined to jerk tears, which I am not, but even I felt a little sting behind the eye). I cringed for Bones when she and Hannah simultaneously told Booth he was welcome when he said thank you for his gift and I felt for her in the awkwardness of realising she was the third wheel (seriously , Angela, what kind of a friend would have left her there?!). But then good people, the little light in the darkness. Booth followed Brennan to the door. Booth held near his heart the ribbon off the gift. Do I read too much into it to think he knew it was really a gift from Bones? Was he saying more than see you tomorrow? The looks are making a comeback people. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes Bones rock!

The Wish

I know this won’t be popular with everyone, but despite Booth’s very pleasing hip to shoulder ratio, I really don’t need to see him tripping the light fantastic with Hannah every episode. I get it. They get down with the rumpy pumpy. Perhaps the writer’s are trying to establish a future point of difference between the relationships – with Booth and Hannah it’s about sex. With Booth and Brennan it’s about intimacy? Whatever the case may be, please spare my ailing heart and soul anymore such scenes!

And that my learned friends is ‘sup!

Episode Two - The Couple in the Cave

In the second offering of Bones’ sixth season we are treated to a tale of love, and crime, and death, from the pen of Stephen Nathan. But at the heart of the episode is love. In quick summary, the tale went a little like this...

A couple of hikers in the National Park get side-tracked and end up in a cave. Sadly, this bickering pair do not become the victims. They do, however, stumble across a couple entwined in each other’s arms and very much dead.

A few snide remarks from Brennan later and with the help of the Jeffersonian brainiacs, the pieces of the puzzle lock nicely into place. Turns out the couple were from different sides of the track, socially and economically (an anthropological anomaly), but had seemingly forged a bond so strong they would rather die together than live alone. Mr Nathan goes all “English Patient” on us when it turns out the dead man would probably have been able to go for help, but his lady would not have made it and he would have been leaving her to die alone. Or should that be anti-English Patient?

The upshot is a misguided Park Ranger pushed the pair, who met through AA, off a cliff after recognising the male victim as the man who supplied his underage niece with the alcohol that ultimately led to her death in an accident.

Oh, and did I mention that we get to meet Hannah? Booth’s ball and chain makes a surprise appearance in Washington, after discovering she didn’t like waking up alone (luckily Bones fans have a well trained gag reflex!). Brennan takes Hannah’s arrival in her stride like the true emotionless stall-wart that she is – or does she?

While The Couple in the Cave may be a little light weight in terms of the case (even I worked out who the killer was in the first few minutes, and I never work out who the killer is), it was heavily laden with subtext about love – that crazy little thing! Throughout the episode, one can’t help but draw parallels between the dead couple in the cave and the burgeoning relationship between Booth and Burley (Hannah) and the tried and true relationship of Booth and Bones. I found myself reading meaning into every line every character uttered.

So on to my “Five Stars and a Wish”:

Star One
Brennan Gets Her Crank On – There were a couple of instances in this episode where we got to see some cracks in Brennan’s normally level-headed demeanour. Early in the episode she has a couple of little digs at Booth about him not really being in love with Hannah, but the most poignant scene is when she lays into newly returned intern Clark. On the surface one might accept Brennan’s explanation that she was just trying to spur Clark on and make him a better scientist, but Cam (and the viewer) knows better. Brennan was clearly experiencing emotions that were unfamiliar to her, and was channelling her frustration at not being able to control them, toward Clark. (There is actually an interesting sound that plays behind the transition shot from Booth and Hannah together at his apartment to the shot of Brennan in the Jeffersonian. If I can quote The Princess Bride, it sounded a little bit like "ultimate suffering". Am I taking my analysis too far here?!). On the flip side, it was nice to see Brennan laugh off Cam’s interpretation of the situation. “It’s actually quite amusing to think that Hannah could ever affect my work”. Her laughter is so rare (remember Caroline saying to Booth, “I did not know she could laugh” in The Verdict in the Story?), it’s like a gift; even if in this instance it masked a darker feeling.



Star Two
The Imagination Runs Wild – After discussing the seemingly unlikely pairing of the victims, given their wildly different backgrounds, Brennan admits that while in Indonesia, she imagined herself and Booth together. Now there’s some dream sequences that would be worth seeing. And we all know, nothing happens unless first a dream.



Star Three
A Friend in Need’s a Friend Indeed – Lots of people had lots to say about Booth and Brennan in this episode. Cam thought they’d be together when they returned from Maluku and Afghanistan. Angela offered up that they were already a couple, albeit a couple who didn’t have sex. Even Clark couldn’t understand why they never got jiggy with it. Naturally Sweets was in the mix too trying to say his piece while still maintaining his bromance with Booth. But the most touching scene was when Brennan and Angela were discussing people’s lives turning out in a different manner to what they expected. Brennan commented that she was the only one living the life she expected. When Angela asked her how that was working out for her, Brennan’s sadness and regret was undeniable, despite her smile and comment that it was as she expected. I’ll probably say it every week, but it’s a testament to the acting genius of Emily Deschanel.

Star Four
Love is in The Air – There was so much rich dialogue in this episode about love it had my head spinning – it was enlightening, confusing and contradictory at times. It was bold of Brennan to talk about what happens to acts of love if someone falls in love with another (subtle as a poke in the eye with a stick) and it was nice to hear Booth say his acts of love for Brennan remained acts of love despite the fact he was now with Hannah (that’s me reading between the lines of course). The line that had me asking the most questions though, was one that came toward the very end of the episode. As Booth and Brennan debate the value of love versus the human imperative for survival, Booth says, “He couldn’t leave her. That’s what love is”, in reference to the victims staying together. What does this mean for his relationship with Hannah, who he left? Or his love for Bones, who he (sort of) came back to?

Star Five
Alone at Last – While not a happy scene, the final scene of this episode gave me hope. As Booth and Hannah headed off to dinner together it was heart crushing to see Bones left all alone at the bar. She put on a brave face and everyone was very friendly and socially polite (Hannah inviting her to go too, Bones politely declining). What this scene effectively did was show that the writers are going to handle the whole Burley/Booth/Brennan situation very well. We are going to feel every ache Brennan feels, we’re not going to be able to hate Hannah no matter how much we may like to and we’re going to see Booth....ummm, I’m not sure about that one yet. Let’s get to the wish...



The Wish
My wish is that eventually we get the point where during such a final scene (if it were to happen again in the future) as Booth and Hannah leave together, we see Booth looking back at Brennan, recognising her loneliness, pain and regret and wishing it was her he was leaving with!

It’s all about the looks people!

Episode One - The Mastodon in the Room

Things had to change and change they did. But don’t be scared. They didn’t change too much.


After the members of the Jeffersonian team disbanded at the end of last Season, our Bones Season 6 opener gives us a glimpse of the new life they’ve each chosen.

Bones is grappling with Guerrillas and sorting out snakes in Maluku. Booth is back working for the Army in Afghanistan. Sweets is selling his soul behind a piano, while Hodgins and Angela are getting pregnant in Paris. Poor old Cam has been left behind in D.C. and has dropped her bundle. She is in a right pickle with the media and the head honchos who want her...head. Seems she been making mischief by waxing lyrical about brain damage in veterans and her inability to identify the remains of a small child is just the excuse the powers-that-be need to cut her loose.

But hold your horse honey, help is on the way. The clever and crafty Caroline does some people wrangling and gets the Scooby gang back together to help save Cam’s career, which they do in a jiffy! “How long’s a jiffy?” I hear you ask. One component of a shake.

Everyone's back and it's business as usual, except Booth has a souvenir in the form of War Correspondent, Hannah. The stage is set for Season 6.

It would seem this is going to be a season that makes one's heart soar and makes one's heart sore. Brennan may just come to the realisation that she does indeed have emotions, but will Booth be there to notice her evolution? Time will tell and remember... patience is a virtue.

So let’s grab our microscopes (I really wish I knew the name of a fancier piece of equipment right now) and scalpels and dissect the first Bones offering on our slab this Season.

So on to my “Five Stars and a Wish”:

Star One
Kick ass Bones is back baby! It was great to see Brennan out of high heels and wielding a shovel with lethal force as she fought off the Guerrillas.

Star Two
It’s official – Emily Deschanel is the best eye-actor in the business (two people agreeing clearly makes it unanimous). The fleeting look of hurt Brennan has after Booth tells her things are very serious with Hannah is heart crushing.

Star Three
They bicker here, they bicker there, Booth and Brennan bicker everywhere! It was so reassuring to have Booth and Bones fall immediately into their comfortable repartee. The simple discussion about being like a jungle cat or a flea led to two other fabulous moments. Firstly, there was the classic Brennan line when Booth says they have to talk about "this" and she replies, “The way my use of accurate similes makes you uncomfortable?” Then there was the look of love, pride and amusement when Booth tells Brennan he’ll take the bad guy down like a flea. Marvellous.

Star Four
The centre must hold. So who’s the lynchpin? Bones thinks she is. Booth thinks he is. Angela and Hodgins are pretty sure it’s them. But we all now know the real lynchpin is Caroline. Give the woman a hug! “Why are you staring a Bones like that?" "What did you do?”

Star Five
Five stars clearly just aren’t enough. I was going to select the scene between Brennan and Angela in the Diner (due mainly to the way Angela says she’s a little bit in love with Booth) for the fifth star, but I think I’m going to go with Cam being angry with Brennan. It’s good to see real emotion and I think Bones needs a metaphoric slap up the back of the head every now and then. (See how I cheekily got them both in there anyway?!)

The Wish
While I’m tempted to say my wish is for Sweets and Daisy to be killed by the rumoured sniper killer (Hanna Barbera would be proud of those two cartoon characters), I won’t. After all, there’d be no final scene in Mayhem on the Cross without Sweets.

My wish is this – that Booth begins to look, really look, at Brennan again. Without sustained eye contact Booth will miss most of what Brennan is “saying”.

I’m going to abuse my own system here for a moment and prattle on a little about Booth. Skip over this section if your ears are prone to bleeding or if your eyes tear up at the sight of tripe.

While Brennan’s character continues to creep forward, it would seem Booth has regressed somewhat. Completely understandable. He laid it all out there and was shot down. So he’s moving on. His demeanour and interactions with Brennan, while on the surface appear unaffected, are definitely more guarded. He’s not allowing himself to look at her. He’s put his (metaphoric) walls back up. He’s a lot more like the cocky bugger we saw in Season 1, and we all know (hope beyond hope) it’s just a flimsy facade to protect himself. We know she rejected him and broke his heart. We know she left him. We know he said he had to move on and apparently he did. My gripe is that by moving on he shows something of a lack of understanding of Brennan. Yes, he may have loved her for years, but she didn’t know that until he sprung it on her that night by the steps (mmm, steps, beware of steps). Isn’t the story that she can’t read social signs and signals? How was she to know that Booth had these feelings? He’d not told her until that point. If he truly knows her, wouldn’t he know that it would take her time to assimilate this new knowledge into her existing schema of the world? But oh no! He just gives up after one crack! Not cool dude. Could he not understand that she was scared? After all she’d lost everyone else she cared about. It was a risk. Turns out she lost him too. He didn’t wait. He found someone else to love. How will that affect Brennan’s psyche?

So I hear you ask, “Where is the evidence of the return to this so called Cocky Booth?” Allow me to illustrate the point. No, that’ll take too long. Allow me to sum up the events that led me to this conclusion. There are three major moments.

Moment One – The Reunion
As their eyes met across one of the many vast concrete expanse of Washington’s “Steps Precinct”, it was plain for all to see, they were delighted to be reunited under a moonlit sky. Her pace quickened as she moved towards him, eager to be in his embrace. She pressed herself to his chest and felt his strong arms wrap around her. He then gave her a quick “How ya doin’ old chap?” pat on the back and immediately released her. What the?! Back up the battleship captain! That’s not besotted Booth!


Moment Two – The Missing Link
Now I may well have read this scene wrong, but I choose to take it this way as it supports my current argument! After Caroline receives Booth’s assurances that he’s staying, Booth tells her that Bones will most likely return to Indonesia to find her missing link to humanity. Caroline quips that they’d all like her to find that (meaning Brennan’s missing link to humanity). Booth furthers the joke by pulling out his mobile phone picture of Hannah (seriously, who looks like that in any mobile picture?!) and commenting that there’s no missing link there. Harsh Booth. Harsh my man.


Moment Three – The Advice
I found Booth’s advice to Sweets to move on a little callous. The sentiment and the delivery.


Don’t mistake me here, I’m not complaining. I love this turn of events and have every faith that Booth and Brennan belong together and will eventually be together. His pulling away is, I imagine, just what we are supposed to be seeing. They want us to believe Booth has moved on. But has he? I think we will see him begin to “see” her again rather soon. He will notice the twinge of jealousy, he will see the look of longing, he will seek out the signs of affection that are all hidden in a look.


So all in all, Episode One was a bit like putting on your favourite, well-loved pair of shoes only to find there’s a bit of bark in the bottom, making you slightly uncomfortable. Rest assured, however, in the knowledge that if you put the time in, you can get rid of that dastardly bit of bark and all will once again be right with the world.

Squee!